I started this burger review blog almost a year ago. At some point when I was getting close to finishing it (I think I had three places that deserved a spot in the ranking at that point) I got terrible food poisoning from a burger and puked multiple times during a gig I had at Gallo later that night.
I couldn’t eat a burger for about three months, but luckily the craving for a delicious burger came back and I was able to complete this review. Basically, what you’re reading took sweat, puke, and tears to finish—and almost a year to wrap up. Enjoy!
Note: Please don’t ask me what spot gave me food poisioning—my goal is to promote quality restaurants and to send y’all to cool spots with these food reviews, not to take anyone down. Plus, I’ve had over a dozen wonderful meals at the place where I got sick from a bad burger. I still go there regularly.
Subscribe now for free to make sure you don’t miss my review of San Cristobal and my Top Five Pizza Joints in Puerto! Those two are next up…
On to the rankings…
1. Oaxaca Grill
I mean, just look at it. It’s as if the Chef knew I would be taking a picture for a burger review blog. It showed up exactly like this. I didn’t ask for extra bacon or bright green lettuce, yet somehow it was placed in front of me like I was doing an ad campaign for “bacon burgers.” Not only was it one of the most photogenic burgers I’ve seen in my life, but it was equally as delicious as it was beautiful.
The bacon was neither burned nor floppy, the patty was thick and juicy, the bun was toasted, the cheese was melted, the pickles were perfectly crunchy, and it all worked in beautiful harmony as I chewed slowly with my eyes closed like someone who was just released from prison.
It gets a 10 out of 10. It was a near-perfect burger experience. I would have loved to have a few fries or some type of side included, but if we’re talking about the burger itself—it was perfection. It’s not the cheapest burger in this review, but the price feels very reasonable.
Note: Oaxaca Grill now has three different locations across three different neighborhoods: Zicatela (on the carretera), La Punta (inside La Catedral), and Rinconada (inside Plaza Chepil).
2. Smoke Shack
The Shack Burger comes with the type of flavor explosion that Fish Shack and Smoke Shack lovers have come to expect from these restauranteurs. It would have been a much tougher choice for my number 1 spot if the burgers were priced the same, but the Oaxaca Grill burger is just so reasonably priced for how amazing it is.
Smoke Shack makes fantastic food, but they’re on the more expensive side of the restaurant scene in Puerto because they know they’re serving up something special and there’s someone else right behind you who would take your table with a smile.
Stop in at Smoke Shack for a treat meal. You can’t go wrong with anything on their menu. If you’re a burger connoisseur, it’s one of the very best burgers we have here in Puerto—so give it a spin around your taste buds!
Note: The Smoke Shack also has the best ribs and pulled pork in Puerto, and their assortment of BBQ sauce is unrivaled. They have a few different types, highlighted by an unbelievable Asian BBQ sauce. I would buy it by the bottle if I could.
3. El Gym
El Gym has been one of my favorite burger spots since I first discovered it in early 2021. Their “gym burger” comes with blue cheese and bacon, two of my favorite burger additions, so I immediately felt understood sitting down at this quaint little 4-table restaurant on the carretera across from the main entrance to La Punta.
It took me way too long to understand the name, but it’s basically an on-the-nose joke that she’s serving up treat meal glutinous type of food, and you can tell your partner “I’m at the gym.” There’s a bar in my hometown of Milwaukee called “My Office,” which is basically a different version of the exact same joke.
The woman who runs El Gym is super sweet, and we don’t know each other’s names, but we definitely know each other at this point. She always seems genuinely happy to see me back at one of her tables every other week, and that warmth along with the reasonable price and overall quality of food she serves has turned me into a regular.
They recently raised all of the prices across the menu by 10 pesos, but they still have the cheapest burger on this top 5—with fries included!
Note: If you’ve got a pescatarian in the crew, or just want to mix it up, the fish burger at El Gym is delicious as well.
4. Dan’s Cafe
Dan’s Cafe Delux is the first restaurant to make it on two of my food blogs—you can also find them here in the review of my favorite places for chilaquiles in Puerto.
Basically, Dan’s does everything right at a very fair price in a really lovely environment. Dan’s has a lot of regulars for those exact reasons. The end of their menu has an entire burger section (pictured above) that includes veggie, chicken, and fish burgers as well.
We’re ranking beef burgers for this piece, so I ordered the “con todo.” It was messy, but when I could get a bite with everything in my mouth, it was a beautiful burger experience. It comes with a healthy portion of crisp thin fries, and several sauces to play around with. Dan’s Cafe always hits the spot, including when you’re craving a great burger.
5. Alaburger
The final spot on our Top Five Burgers blog goes to a La Punta institution, Alaburger. I’ve been visiting Puerto for over four years (and living here full-time for the past three), and it feels like in that time La Punta has essentially grown up around Alaburger. There were huge empty lots both to the right and directly in front of the restaurant back in 2020, and now those lots on the main road of La Punta are bustling with construction and nightlife.
Alaburger has been consistently serving up great pizza and burgers throughout all of the low and high seasons for years. They serve a large variety (see menu above) of delicious burgers that match the amazing ambiance of the place.
You’re paying a bit more for these burgers than most other options on this top five list, and that extra 20-40 pesos feels entirely worth it if you have time to chill and enjoy their lovely candles-on-huge-wooden-tables ambiance in the heart of La Punta.
Note: The Bardot burger is my personal favorite on the menu!
Appreciate the occasional fish-burger shoutout!